Post #1. Be frightened....very frightened.

Okay. So now I have a blog. How self important am I? FUCKING self important!!!!! Kidding. I realize that what I have to offer is only marginally entertaining. Im the Carrot Top of blogging. I know my place. ( Side note, I hung out with him once. Im not going to go into full detail, but I saw his pubes. It was a steroid-y, eye liner-y, face lifting-y, pumpkin pube-y experience, that causes me night terrors, to this day.) OH!!! another side note, I LOOOOVE interjecting stories, with experiences I have with meeting or hanging out with, famous people. It makes me feel like you guys are all..." Wow, Ryan. YOUVE MADE IT!!! You use stories about celebrities, and that makes you a valid person!!!" To that..I say " thank you". I also love to say things like...' so, anyways..I was at the gym", or ... " on my way home from the gym".... that just makes me gay. And SUPER insecure about my body issues. Just nod your head and play along. Welcome everyone to my new blog. Youll laugh. You may even cry once in a while. Above all, if I dont offend at least half of you on a regular basis....then Ive failed as a total hack, wannabe, name dropping, hot mess blog bitch. So hang onto your hats.