You know what? Since you asked..... Its no secret that I hold a HUGE amount of contempt for a certain group, out there. If you fall into the list of being born....
1. Male
2. White
3. Straight
4. Upper middle class to wealthy
5. Republican.
Then YOU sir...are a massive douche, and should immediately crash your slate grey BMW with a Bush/Cheney bumper sticker..... RIGHT into the nearest tree. ( That no doubt..... your grandfather and his buddies hung blacks from, back in the day). My friends and I will stand around and laugh...sip on our Bailey's on ice.......and remark on how quickly white Republicans go up in a blaze. We will ALSO comment on how delicious Bailey's on ice is. Then we'll watch the devil materialize from the ground, snatch you up.......turn to us and wink as if to say......" I know JUST what to do with this douche-tastic fuck stick", and disappear into the dark earth, below. Then we're OUTTA THERE, because Im all set with the scent of burning flesh. Believe me......I know that smell, well. I myself, may have burned up a body or two on the dance floor.
FEEL THE FIRE, TRANNYS!
These "holier than thou", "Im better than you", "never been knocked down a peg" mother fuckers make me want to puke out of my nose. Im a big believer that its the act of life nailing you in the balls ( or vaginal bone), with a steel tipped boot....that makes you a kinder, gentler person. These guys were born with EVERY advantage, got EVERYTHING they ever wanted in life with little to no work, were praised from the word go, and had ZERO obstacles.
Those....dear readers.....are all of the ingredients to make a person who is vile, obnoxious....and most of all....CANT TAKE A FUCKING JOKE. Which personally.....I find to be the most deplorable of all human qualities.
That, and being a country music fan.
Sorry. Unless youre The Dixie Chicks and youre slamming George Bush at some concert.....I just cant. I cant do twangy hick tunes.
( and by the way...how did you like that sweet reference from an event in 2007? ) Ryan!!! Youre so current!!!!
PPPffftt. Then YOU start a blog that has readers in the tens, and let me see how fresh you keep the shit, Judgey!
Anyhoo. What also kills me about this select group of people, is the way they can get super bloated, and rock a sweet muffin top with fatty sausage fingers like Linda Ronstadt, and STILL strut down the hallway like they are top stud.
Your name is definitely Tanner or Corey. ( Urgh.....I just puked a little.) You grew up in some asshole suburb in Connecticut .....about 45 minutes outside of Manhattan. Your dad is a plastic surgeon and your mom " volunteers." She is also rocking a massive Valium addiction. ( Which is the ONLY thing that is semi-cool about your family.) Your dad was a high school football star, much like you were. And you both ABSOLUTELY date raped some poor girl who was enthralled with your douchey high school power. I see you!!!!! Your mom grew up the daughter of a Pastor, but she had a sweet rack and fucked everyone in sight, which is how your mom and dad met and eventually married. You grew up in a 1.5 million dollar house, and you had a German Shepard named Tucker. ( God...fucking white people). You teased the gay kid at your school mercilessly, but once a month or so, picked him at 10 at night, parked down the street, and had him blow you. You never had a summer job, but instead spent weekends in Maine with your other douchey fuck wad friends...smoking pot and listening to Led Zeppelin. SO EDGEY!!!! Nobody else did that before or after you! Way to be on the tip! You went to Middlebury or Bowdoin, and your father paid cash for all four years. He also gave you a credit card, but you were only allowed to spend $10,000.00 a month. ( Well, he'd allow a little more if you REALLY needed it.) Now youre an upper level douche manager at some cooperation, where....yes...people are still bowing down to you. You pull in a couple hundred thousand a year and drink dirty martinis with GREY GOOSE ONLY! And pity the poor waiter who gets it wrong. You also smoke cigars. You hate it, but your buddies do it. How do you spell poser? T-A-N-N-E-R. Youre about to marry some sweet girl who is WAY hotter than you, but you still love to hire hookers from Craigslist when you're traveling for work. ( Both male, female, and " in the middle"). You treat them like shit, and always short them $40.00...just because you feel like it. You golf every weekend, and just bought front row tickets to the Nickleback show!
Good for you!
Know whats sad? NOBODY PUTS THEM IN CHECK!!!!
Why? Ill tell you why. Even if somebody were to give it to them and give it to them good...they wouldnt hear shit. Its their world. Its a white, straight, money loving world....and you and I dear reader...are on the outs. Know that I say to that?
Thank
Fucking
God
BLACK POWER!
shit. this sounds like me.
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