Next time I get my hair cut, I am going to drive 100 miles into the smallest town I can find. Ill march right up to " Miss Lorraine's Beauty Spot", grab a seat in the waiting area, open up the latest issue of Christianity Today......and wait for that sexy bitch Lorraine to finish up her wash n set, so she can get to work on my luxurious tresses.
Maybe Ill comment on how I LOVE that Christianity Today only features wholesome, god fearing WHITES, and she'll let out a hearty chuckle. Because you KNOW she agrees. Ill grab a hard candy out of the dish at her station, and MMMmmm!!!! Its lemon!
She'll ask me if I have a wife, because her granddaughter is ON THE HUNT! Ill let her know that I just got through a very messy divorce, ( she was cheating on me with a...... Cuban. Ill whisper the word " Cuban", because frankly, NOBODY wants to hear that word. Well, unless " was just arrested", is following it.) Now Im just trying to pick up the pieces of my life, with the help of Jesus. ( which ironically was the name of the Cuban slut my ex wife was cheating on me with.) Lorraine will pat me on the shoulder, give me a look of compassion, and let me know that Id be in her prayers.
" Thank you Lorraine. And pray that she gets Cuban AIDS, if you have an extra second or two."
Lorraine will pull out her clippers, and start my haircut. I picture it will go a little something like this. Enjoy the clip, below.
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